Yesterday I had to go “off island” ( you can say that in a spooky, trembling voice like I did)  It was a mission, we had our list and I knew what I needed to do.

And I was doing it with my 4 year old.  The “difficult” one.

The third child, who, never in his whole entire life has EVER been as well behaved as his two older sisters . . . obviously. The one who is “spirited” and full of energy.

When I look back on the 4+ years of his life, I honestly can’t remember if he and I have ever had a day together. Like a whole day. Just us.

And I think that is pretty crappy.

How on earth could I not have done that with him?  Other than that first year when we were TOGETHER ALL THE TIME. Or the long, drawn out days at home attempting to entertain him while balancing and juggling a million other things.

But yesterday we had a DAY.

Granted, it included hitting up a few shops and grabbing supplies for Dad, but it had no speedy timeline and I was ready to open my mind to possibilities.

We wandered aisles, he added things to the cart, and “ran about” the store, without me screaming at him. We went for lunch, and we chatted.

He didn’t scream. Or cry. Or fuss.

But nor was there massive amounts of FUN to be had.

It was just a day, and we were getting stuff done, TOGETHER.

And that was the clincher.  I have done errands with the older girls many a time, even at age 4, and it was no big deal. But doing errands with 3 kids, at varying ages, and with any ONE of them being 4 is frustrating (and expensive)

Never before had he and I co-existed like this, in fact, I didn’t even know we could.

And it made me realize a few things:

1. He actually IS growing up.  And 4 year olds aren’t THAT bad. .  especially when they are able to be productive and not bossed around by older siblings

2. I have done this before:  I had forgotten that I had done this before with the girls. I don’t know how I forgot, but I did.

3. I am actually a nice person:  All day long I feel like he and I grind against each other.  One on one, being productive, we actually got along really well.  I am a kind mom. I am a patient mom. I CAN do this.

4. Our objectives are the same:  Neither of us wanted to be in the city, but both of us saw the road ahead, knew there would be a few benefits and just pushed through.  I think we may have both let out a collective sigh as we boarded the ferry home. We bonded through adversity . . . kind of!

It took me HAVING to do something, outside of our normal “at home” wednesday to realize something unique and amazing about my relationship with my son.  We both grew up a little bit yesterday, and found a new sort of appreciation for each other.

And perhaps the next time I need to leave my island oasis, I will take him with me, by CHOICE.  I mean, he made some pretty good company.