I know there are all sorts of different ideals out there about living a good life, doing well in business and being a generally “successful” person.

All those rules and good and fine… but a little different than mine.

Here are my 5 rules for life

1.  The things you say NO to are more important than the things you say yes to

Saying yes is easy. It is accommodating and appeases those around you. It opens up opportunities, and takes you amazing places.  But when you decide to say NO to something, well that defines you and your values more than anything else can.

See, no is often more of a choice than yes.  When we say yes we aren’t fully committing, we are often just opening ourselves up for exploration. But when we say NO, we are making a conscious decision that we do not want this in our life, we do not want to explore it and we refuse to participate.

No is strong, and confident and scary. No is definitive.  It is hard to come back from no. It is much easier to change a yes to a maybe and then to a no.  If you make a mistake on a NO, there are different consequences.

I am all about yes. I am all over it. Yes does amazing things.

It is the NO’s that make me who I am though. It is the times I have said NO that make me the most proud of myself.

The NO’s steer my course and path far more than the yes’s do, and for that I am grateful for the times and moments I have the chance to say NO.

2. Yes, you can come from a place of love

I know.. lame. Naive even. Possibly it is, but I truly, deep down, right to my guts believe that if we focus on doing what we can, saying good things and supporting the people we want to support, then things will work out.  I don’t think we should be investing time into practices that are not positive and don’t come from a loving place in us. I don’t believe we should look to break down those around us or cause others strife. I don’t believe that we should compete. Really, I don’t.

If you don”t have anything nice to say, don’t say it. If you can’t even think something nice… shut up, back away and focus on what you can do to make things better. (and not better for YOU, but better for everyone)

3. Don’t worry about the ones who don’t like you

Yes, there are people out there who won’t like you (or me) it’s true. There are people we rub the wrong way, or people we just never click with.

Don’t worry about them. Hopefully they also live well and won’t spend their hours infecting your life. We need to choose our fights, and choose where we put our energy, don’t put it into people who don’t add value to your life or don’t appreciate the special mix of awesome that you are.  It is okay to end relationships, and let go of the past. We all need to keep moving, and keep moving on and no, not every single thing/relationship/opportunity is going to be right for us. Let it go.

Oh, and when I say don’t worry about them… I mean, don’t lie in bed re-running all your previous conversations, or stewing over their success (or gloating over their failures)  Release them to live their life and let yourself live your own.

4. Just. Do. Your. Best.

Don’t worry about the rest. Seriously! Who cares what other people are doing/getting/having? Focus on yourself, and put all your time, effort and creativity into being your best self and doing your best job.

If you think about all the minutes you can waste checking up on your (so-called) competition instead of working on your own projects, it is eye opening.

Be original, work from a place on honesty, create new ideas and success will come.

5. Don’t do something unless you are going to do it.

Think.
Plan
Commit

Spend your hours doing the things you are committed to doing. The things you have made a decision to complete and spend your time on. Don’t waste time on doing things that probably aren’t going to materialize.

In this vein as well – don’t state you are going to do something unless you ARE GOING TO DO IT. A commitment should be solid.

Now granted, we all make mistakes. So, if you have made a mistake, acknowledge it as one and repair the damage.  Just don’t waste your moments of being awesome on doing things that aren’t…. well, awesome!  And if you find you have 10 un-finished projects on your plate (or god forbid, finished but never publicized) you have GOT to fix that. The things we put our energy into need to be completed and shared to allow us to grow and improve.

I don’t have it all figured out, really, I don’t. But I do spend a lot of time trying to listen to myself and I think by now I have a pretty good idea when I am doing the right thing, or the wrong thing.

I am still learning, and experiencing,  as well all are, and appreciate all the opportunities for screwing up I have had so that I am able to feel more solid in my “now” than ever before.  And one thing is certain, as I continue to explore life, I am going to explore it in style, surrounded by people I love, in places that fill my soul!

What are your rules for life?