The boys took hubby out for drinks and goodbyes the other day.  Then he spent the day sailing (learning the “ropes” so to speaks) I see his stress diminishing, I see his mind opening to the options ahead of him, I see him changing,

And I feel a change in me too.  I finally, fully and completely understand how he felt being the main breadwinner, and having me at home “working on myself” with my world wide open. And yes, I feel blessed to be able to give him this opportunity, but yes, I also feel the stress.

As his shoulders lift and relax I have to consciously not allow mine to bend under the weight.

As his world opens ahead of him I need to remind myself to be grateful for the opportunity I had to create the world I am living in now.

But, with a road of projects ahead of me, it can sometimes feel overwhelming as well. How is the transition going to work? Will be manage this family responsibilities in lieu of me? Will I still be taking on that load of dinners and laundry or will it all balance out as the scales shift? Will he survive being with the kids so very, very much?

Granted, I am not in an office away from the family for 8 hrs a day, but I will be away from the “island” for a few days each month and I will need to put at home work time in.  Will we adapt cleanly to this new shift or will we bump our way along to a patchwork solution of family, work and life?

And yes, some sadness at feeling like some of my freedom is going, while my family’s freedom is increasing.

And yes, a bit bummed that the boys all rallied around hubby… and us ladies send text messages and keep it responsible.   That friends aren’t lying sobbing that I am leaving (I know, self centered, I get it) and my calendar isn’t booked up with last goodbyes.   A bit bummed that “vacation” hasn’t started for me… life is just continuing in a different way… and yes a better way, but as much as this is my big change…. It doesn’t seem so big today.