I am amazing at telling people what to do. I delegate easily, and (hopefully) respectfully. I can multi task and toss out commands suggestions left, right, and centre.

I can see exactly what needs to be done, and where and (usually) how.  I can break it down into bite sized chunks and make it simple.

And it fills my soul to do it.

But.

I have a damned hard time getting it back, and I need it back.

And it isn’t about not having the people to do it. I am surrounded by brilliant women who have a view of me that I could never see myself. Women who would push me beyond my current boundaries. Women who could see exactly what I am too scared to do, and push me into doing it.

No, it isn’t the availability of leaders, it is my fear of opening myself up farther, and being challenge to grow.

Yes. That’s it.

Mastermind groups call to me, but as a leader. I would love to get in there and mess around and help people build amazing things. Inspire. Create. Empower.

But to participate?  Egads. The walls come up, the fear over takes, because “what if”  (what if what, I’m not sure?)

I remember a friend telling me she was too scared to start her own business because what if she got “too much work”?

Well, you would just raise your prices, or decline. (duh)

What if:

– I go too big
– I get overwhelmed
– I work too much

What if.

I fail.

That, my friends is the big FOUR letter word that is keeping my growth “moderate” instead of “aggressive”

That is what is stopping me from diving into mass learning, doses of reality, feedback and challenges.

And that is such a silly, silly thing.

2015. Coming up rapidly. And my year to mastermind. My year to allow the flow of water to reverse a little and to take some in.

It’s time.