I was in the city, and my brain was filled (and my wallet emptied, as always happens in the city)
With the new freedom in my future, I feel like wide chasm of opportunity (this is a good thing) to fully immerse myself in what I truly want, and make it fit with who I truly am.
I am doing more thinking about what that is, and continuing to better understand why I have made the decisions I have made in the last few months.
I attended a workshop while in Vancouver with the awesome Jaeny Baik. She was there to talk to us about videos… but she triggered something in me that was so much more.
She asked us why we do what we do, a simple request to help us find the authenticity in our business.
Being business-less this was at first a struggle for me, but then I made myself focus on the why’s of the past, and get to the true honests bits of what I want.
Sometimes to find what we want… we need to aknowledge what we DON’T want and then release these expectations and move on.
What don’t I want?
I don’t want a constant, overwhelming stream of work. I love turning on, and turning off. I love projects that have a beginning, a middle and an end. And when they end, they are over, not just re-aligned to a bigger goal.
I don’t want bureaucratic rules. I don’t want to be so stuck on a plan that there is no room for creativity. I don’t want a huge business.
What do I want?
Well, this is what Jaeny pulled out of me that night, much to my surprise, and it is exactly what I want.
“I want to help people because by putting myself out their as an example for overcoming fear, I may inspire them to face their own demons and have the courage to chase their dreams.”
What does this mean? I am starting to figure it out (yes, shocking, I don’t actually know!) but I do know that I have a forum to do that.
And I do know that I will continue to publicly face my fears.
My fears. . . the reason these posts are backdated – I am working on publishing them closer to the post date.
My fears . . . the ones that stop me from vlogging (oh gawd, I DO not look good on video, and seriously, is my voice really THAT nasally?)
My fears. . . of success, of failure. My fears of saying “I am Julie and this is what I do”
Hopefully, if I continue to face my fears, if they splay themselves out for you and I am vulnerable, we can journey together courageously and achieve our hearts desire, our dream, our goals.
seriously, my gut is in turmoil just writing this. . . damn fear.
so. Step 1. Vlogging. Step 2. Saying yes to the scary things. Step 3. Being ok with being scared.
How about you?