Yesterday evening hubby and I sat outside, finding a moment of peace and quiet away from the kids. His shoulders were tense, and brow furrowed, and I could feel the waves of stress coming off him.
I poured him a glass of wine, rubbed his shoulders and said those dreaded words to him, “Tell me what’s wrong”
Within seconds he was into a long detailed list of ALL THE THINGS.
The unfinished laundry room, the trim needed in the basement, that leaky kitchen window, the FOUR gates that need to be built, the garden to be tilled, and, and, and.
So many “almost done” projects that were overwhelming him, and keeping him away from the day to day items that needed to be done on the farm.
Two HUGE piles of laundry (thank goodness no one is wearing socks in this nice weather), a basement fridge that may have a few extra things growing in it, bedrooms, dusting, bathrooms… aack, when you walk through the house it feels like it is closing in on you.
And if this all wasn’t enough, it is the other projects on the list that we WANT to do. A new deck, plans drawn, but so many things in the line in front of it. Plantings, irrigation, and (could it actually happen) a chance to get back on the sailboat.
Being renters for 18 months really helped us forget the maintenance needed on a house you own.
After he ranted and reeled and exhausted himself, we made a list. All the things we WANT to do, and the things that need to be finished, and all the stuff that HAS to be done. . regularly.
So, we may a list and we divided it into sections:
Items the kids can do:
– Dusting, vacuuming and tidying the bathrooms.
– Laundry sorting, but maybe not washing just yet
– Coop cleaning, rabbit feeding (although they are already great at this)
– Dead heading the plants in the garden (a great way to brighten up any garden by the way)
Hubby’s list included most of the things with Power Tools. . . but a lot of our jobs needed to be done together. So we prioritized – what are the seasonal things that needed to happen and what things (like the baseboards in the rec room) that can wait until winter.
By breaking our projects down into manageable chunks and prioritizing them, he was better able to accept what he could do in the amount of time he has to do it.
Of course, off loading a few of these things to the kids helped as well. My hubby always seems to take responsibility for EVERYTHING, forgetting we can all help him out.
My hope is that by getting a handle on the chaos of the house, we will be able to clear our minds and enjoy our property with late night campfires, get out on the sailboat, and do all the things that were the reason we made this move in the first place.
At the end of our chat (and halfway through a second bottle of wine) I reminded him that we have lots of time. I listed all the things we HAD achieved in the past year and told him to take it slow, make the list into bite sized chunks, and to share the load.
I mean, that is what family is for, isn’t it?