I am sitting here in the airport after leaving blogwest, drinking my coffee, belly fully of yogurt and granola. Contented.

Contented, and in a Chili’s restaurant.

One of my besties just left to go back to her digs, a quick run to the gate, with a hug squeezed in.  We will see each other again soon, but for now, she is off to her life and I am off to mine.

Mine. My life.

While we sipped our coffee,  we chatted about the conference, and about our weeks ahead. We both have lots of projects on our plates, and life is good.  Around us were moms with young kids, busy travelers and brides.  Lots of brides.

I mentioned to my friend that I was pretty happy NOT to be in that stage anymore.

And I am.

That elusive stage between youth and maturity, a purgatory zone where you aren’t really a grown up yet, but you have all the responsibilities of one.

I am nearly 40. . . slowly creeping up on the previously dreaded number.

A number which almost seems welcoming now.

We discussed how we felt during those frenetic days of first having kids, the constant rush to keep up with our friends, our neighbors and our mentors.  The feeling that we were always missing out on something and had so far to go.

Now, we know we have a long way to go, but feel we have chosen our path wisely, and we will get their in our own good time.

We understand the effort and hours and sacrifices it takes on some of those other paths. We are happy that we didn’t choose them, even though we thought we should.

We feel we can stand and look at our life from a distance, assess it on a grander scale or from multiple perspectives, instead of just drowning in overwhelm, seeing it from a selfish, or even selfless point of view.

I am heading back to my little island, and this will cause me to miss so many amazing events and opportunities in the cities, but that’s okay by me.  I don’t have to be everywhere, and I can trust that the right things will come to me.  Others will see more success this week, month, year.

Many more will see less.

But I finally understand that neither of those groups matter.

It only matters that my life, around me is filled with the things that fill me up.  I am NOT missing out on anything, because my everything is here.

I am looking forward to 40, and welcoming the perspective it is bringing with it. The letting go, and the belief that I am enough.

The calm. I am calm. It is calming.  And yes, I am enough.