I have two daughters, aged 6 and almost 9.  Yes, they are beautiful and brilliant and kind and creative, just like yours are. Yes, I love them deeply and yes they have given me layers of joy and mountains of sorrow and stress over the years, just like yours.  Through it all, almost 9 years into parenting, I think I have a pretty good and open relationship with them.  We talk, openly & honestly- I thought.

It was a summer’s evening and we had new friends for dinner. Wanting some relaxed conversation time with our guests, we suggested the kids all jump into the hot tub with their friends while we grownups chatted. My friend’s daughter replied that she couldn’t go swimming because she had a sore vagina.

Cough, cough, excuse me… did you just say Vagina little 6 year old?

I know it is all modern to talk about these things. You are a hip parent if you call “those bits” by the right, clinical names and all, but aren’t we all just pretending and calling them “down there’s”  anyway?

And granted we don’t actually call it a “down there” anymore… we have progressed, kind of.

I don’t know where the term “front bumb” came from, or why my 6 year old just calls it her “private” but they are terms that I am okay with. My late blooming daughters are continuing to allow me to sleep soundly at night!  I trust that when they are initiated with that first kiss (preferably at age 16 like I was) they will be as disgusted as me and sit pretty (and virginal) for another 3 years!

Being progressive of course, we did clarify that babies don’t come out of the mom’s bumb (awkward!) and most babies aren’t taken out of mommy’s tummy (C-sections do save you from delving into delicate conversation) … but have not yet ventured into how said baby actually got in there in the first place, and my husband and I are very skilled at changing that topic of conversation (ice cream anyone?) if it does ever come up.

And yes, I know the time will come when we will need to have this discussion, (oh please let the wine gods appear that day) but for now I am remaining oblivious. My girls are sweet and lovely, and I like to think I am keeping these topics for a better day….  I mean, their little brother still has “a tail “(not a penis! )

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