Call me crazy, but I am 41 and wear a bikini. I’m not skinny, and I most definitely don’t “rock it” when I wear it, but this is my story WHY I no longer care.
Over the last year (or two), ever since I turned 40 actually, things have been going a little softer than in my 30’s. Part of it is biology, the other part is that I have committed more time and energy into building a business than to maintaining my “youthful” figure. Exercise slipped down the priority scale, and it has started to show.
With an event coming up in California in a month, I have spent the last 2 months re-committing to my fitness and health. Part of it was that I would be lounging poolside with my industry friends, the other part was that it was just TIME to get my health back under control.
In two months my strength and fitness HAS improved, but perhaps not to the point that I felt ready to rock my string bikini in California.
So yesterday I decided to go on the hunt for a more “discreet” suit that I could wear at the event. Something more “professional”… I think that is a true oxymoron though, don’t you? A “Professional Bikini”.
I walked into the bathing suit shop and said I was looking for a bikini, laughingly saying ” I think it is time to get something a little more discreet that my current string bikini”
Alas, the young little thing gave me the ole up and down and said “Um, yes, I think so”.
At which point my confidence wall BOOSTED. It did not shrivel as I was assessed by someone half my age, it grew.
It grew very large in fact, because here I was, an almost 42 mother of 3 who was looking for a bikini to wear. Damn, that alone was awesome.
She brought me a collection of suits, many of which were too small, too blinged, too big, to “formed”. Nothing was simple, nothing was basic. There were buckles, and shiny hooks, over-formed cups, and folds of fabric to hide my “trouble areas”. Each suit I tried on made me more and more disappointed in what manufacturers expect us to wear.
Where was a simple bathing suit, a simple bikini that just worked OVER my body, instead of trying to force my body into IT?
So I left.
The sales clerk didn’t seem surprised, I imagine I am not really her clientele.
I came home and I dragged out my old black suit, and I decided that whatever my body looks like, it will look the same in this suit or any other. No amount of padding will hide the wrinkles on my thighs, or the extra wobble under my arms, but at least in this suit I will feel myself. I won’t mind that when I roll over my tummy rolls too. Hopefully by wearing a suit and a style that I have worn for years, I will be able to show MY confidence, which is entirely related to my personality, not the shape of my thighs.
I am 41, almost 42, and I will continue to wear a bikini because it isn’t the suit we wear, but how we wear the suit that matters.
If you see me sitting poolside in California this April, know that I am okay with the extra pounds I put on… call them success pounds if you will. Know they are there because I made other choices this past year, choices that made me very happy. Know that I am okay with it.
Instead of spending $200 on a bikini that was supposed to make me feel better, I am going to spend that money on a killer dress, or shoes, or maybe a new fruit tree for the orchard. I am just not going to spend it on a bikini.