When we came to Salt Spring, part of our plan was to work with the international program at the school to begin hosting an exchange student. We had done it in the past and had a student stay with us for 10 months and it had a profound affect on our family.
So, this fall, we welcomed another student.
After 5 months with us we sent her on her way this past weekend. The two little kids had joined me at the airport to wish her well and ensure she got through the gates (and didn’t try to hide out in our trunk) Through gallons of tears and fortyfivemillion hugs, she was gone.
I had enjoyed the experience, and felt we had welcomed her to the family. As a past exchange student way back in the 90’s, I had hoped we had added something to her life.
And then I felt a little tug.
My little dude, who perhaps didn’t fully capture what was happening when we were “taking her home” was a mess. His tears flowed and he had that “ugly cry” blotchiness.
When I checked on the other one I noticed that while she was “holding it in” her blotchiness was obvious as well.
The kids were sad.
And this was fantastic.
(i hope)
See, I look at this experience of loving and letting go as one that is so important to our life. The ability to trust that things will come together in the end, and that the important people will always be there. To be able to have that trust you need to have relationships, and then have them … go.
My kids welcomed a stranger into their home. They learned how to communicate with her, and how to balance a new “member of the family” They shared their lives with her, and a bit of their heart.
And then she left.
And soon, they will welcome another. And again open their hearts, and share their lives. And after that they will also let her go.
My hope is that they build a strong foundation and grow to understand that it isn’t where you are in the world that matters, it is who you are with.
That relationships last over time and distance, sometimes.
And sometimes they just fade out: they should know that that is okay as well.
We left the airport and I had two sad kids. We got a special treat and then went home. The house seemed empty, and the kids missed their “sister” but in the end we snuggled in and found our peace.
Parents should be in the business of changing lives and I feel like that is exactly what I am doing.