I am finally sitting down. My body aches, my head throbs and I am cursing my husband for making the challenges that we cut out trips to the beer store for 3 weeks.

I am exhausted.

I have just done a full 12 rounds with our three year old. It has been going on all afternoon. The whining, the drama, the little mini flares of tantrums, until he finally exploded.

And over nothing, of course. I mean does a three year old ever tantrum over the thing they should be freaking out about?

I am not really a well educated parent. I mean, I am an educated person, but I go mostly on instinct when parenting. This means I probably make a bundle of mistakes, but do a lot of awesome things as well. It also means I tend to question if my “tactics” are correct, or even working, when it comes to dealing with the kids.

We want confident kids. Strong, independent, confident kids. We don’t actually mind some of their chaotic behavior, and figure that we would rather fun, engaging kids than wallflowers.  We want our kids to explore and experiment . . . within reason, of course.

And when it comes to some of the personality traits that seem to be gaining in strength, I am proud and slightly nervous.

I see awesome creativity blooming. But I also see these stubborn streak gaining in strength.

See, hubby and I are both stubborn. Like in a big way. We are foot stomping, “smile-beneath-your-hand-even-when-you-know-you-are-wrong” stubborn. Really, really, really stubborn.

So, when the dude and I started into our match yesterday, I reminded myself that the stubborn thing is always the main source of fuel to our fire.

I have been working on maintaining calm during these collisions. Using a calm voice, repeating instructions, keeping it simple.

The three year old missed the notes on this, as it just seems to fire him up even more, and irritate the crap out of him (score a point for mom?)

So, an hour and a half into our round, I felt a sense of calm come over me. Much like that zen moment through a run. I felt at peace with my repetitive instructions to “please go sit on the bed” over and over again.

Of course, it was short lived. That sense of calm quickly evaporated.

Eventually dad came in and lent his hand to the situation. (read what you will into that, but in fact dad came in with more of the same calm tactic)

And what did I learn from all this?

My kids have a deep well of strength to them. Possibly too deep. And it doesn’t seem to matter if I use the “calm” mommy role or the “angry” mommy role. . .  the tantrum is still the tantrum, and it won’t be done until it is finished being done.

But, one day, they will come across an adversary that their stubbornness will overcome. And that is the moment that all this preparation is for.

And that day I will be proud they held their ground and drew their line.

That day it will be worth it.