As I am clearing the dust from my computer files, I find this little post.  It is old . . . it was written before we pulled the plug on our “old life” and while I was still deeply involved in city life and business. It may help explain just exactly why we made the decisions we did, and maybe, if you see something of yourself, you will feel a step closer to making a decision for your family. Or maybe, if you are in the midst of chaos today . .  you can know that I was there as well and now, today, everything is amazing! It does get better, and you do find a way, but you just need to face the reality of what you are living – julie

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I have a love/hate relationship with people at times.

I love spending time with people, doing amazing things and having amazing conversations.  I love the collaborating. I love the inspiring. I love the laughter and the food (and okay, the wine!) It truly does fill my days with fabulousness!

But, it exhausts me.

As I lay on the couch, wrapped in 2 snuggley blankets and hacking my weeks work out of my lungs and think about the concept of self care… the picture is so much bigger than I imagined.

I am introverted you see. As much as that may be hard to believe if you have met me in person, I am. Yes, even though I am confident, and outgoing, and sociable, and often an attention hog, I am still an introvert.

I often physically feel the energy draining out of me in social situations. Like a world of vampires sucking me dry… except I am slitting my own vein to make the transaction easier.

And don’t get me wrong, it is a kind of heroin for me as well. To be able to share, and inspire and experience people. It is fulfilling. It is amazing.

But with 4 external events this week a heavy load of work and an even heavier load of family duties, my cup ran dry.  I lasted as long as I needed to last, and then collapsed.

Empty.
Sick.
Exhausted.
Irritable.

So part of my self-care, is limiting.  Limiting what I can participate in. Limiting what I share, how much and when. Part of my self-care is creating a warm, safe, reclusive place that I can hide and recharge.

Because in the end, my family suffers.  While I did all the work I needed to do this week, and I did manage the kids and all their “stuff”, my hubby suffered. He missed out on me. He missed out on my help, my attention, my conversation.

And that sucks. It sucks big time.

We can’t do everything, I know that, you know that. But still we try. Or we take the things that matter the most of the plate.

Yup – it’s that button again! Click, if you have a spare moment and pop me a vote! It helps me get new visitors to my site (which means views, which in turns me I can buy wine!) Contest runs till  Nov 29, 2012