I am in love. It is simple really. I married my husband 12 yrs ago and I still love him. To me that means I support his dreams and am ready to take risks and live my life with him.
Yes, I do have kids (three in fact) but I feel it is important to show our children that not only do my husband and I listen to each other; we hear each other as well.
I heard him loud and clear today. I felt every ounce of him beg me for a change. I saw the pressure, I saw the frustration and I finally saw how very sad he was.
You see, 4 years ago my husband gave me a gift. I was in a miserable job, attempting to balance full-time with 2 kids (in different daycares even) Everyday going to work I cried… I was done.
It is really that simple isn’t it.
We know when we are done having children
We know when we are done being overweight
I know “done” quite well, and I was done.
So he told me to quit. I couldn’t have done it on my own… it isn’t the kind of decision you can make for yourself. To ask your partner to take on your half of the career burden… in exchange for his half of the family burden… not a fair trade.
But he told me to quit. And I did… that day. In fact, after that day, I never went back.
Now, I sit here looking at him and I can see that he is “done”.
And as I said above, I know “done” quite well.
I can see the stress and disappointment sitting on him. He is draped in it.
This was never his plan you see. He came to Canada 13 years ago, it being his 1st stop on a round the world adventure. Lucky bastard met me.
13 years, 3 kids, mortgage, same job for 12 years.
The good thing is, he is happy with the kids. I am pretty sure he is happy with me. He did choose us.
He didn’t choose the job though. His 6 figure, keeping us in comfort, paying for lots of holidays, “how many bottles of wine should we get tonight” job.
Crap. He didn’t choose that. He should have been able to choose that, shouldn’t he? Every day he comes home, he loves us, we laugh and he chooses us again. I want him to choose his every moment like that…
We have a problem!
