I have been mulling for the last few days, trying to settle in on my “word” for the coming year. The word that will help me focus on my intention in all parts of my life.

One. Simple. Word.

Each year I have been successful in finding the right tone. The tone that would carry  me through  Action from 2012, which was part of what created our huge move to salt spring.  Simplify in 2013, a year dedicated to finding the easiest way through things, without complexity and chaos. Last year, improvement, had me focussed on mastering my message, learning and aspiring to greater things.

And now.

2015.

What I DO know is that there are definite words that do NOT apply to the coming year.

Growth: I know that will occur naturally and am not focussed on it in an aggressive way.
Confidence: I feel strong in my shoes and ready to walk where I need to go, despite the weakness in my belly (which has always been there and will never deter me from a goal)

And I know what I DO want to happen. I want balance in all things. I want to have the time to enjoy my work and clients, as well as get this booty on the road, sweating again. I want to have time in my garden, building it and just enjoying the fruits of my labour.

I want to feel healthy, and have the strength in my body and mind to do another round with those winnipeg girls (and not have it ruin me for weeks afterward)

I want to feel my roots go deep in the soil, but also feel okay pulling them up to experience and enjoy events and travel that is coming up.

I want to be strong, but not in an intimidating way. Not strong TO YOU, but strong FOR ME.

But with that strength I want to balance it with a renewed softness of my soul. I want to be more “there” for my friends, and not just in the logical and productive way I can always seem to deliver.

I want to hug more. I want to laugh more. I want to work better, and live better.

I had a list. It included, “prepared”, “commitment”, “enhance”, “planned”: all very logical words.

But not the right ones.

I don’t want big changes. I don’t need big changes. I just want everything I have, but with a renewed sense of vigour, and a re-established commitment to what I have chosen to have in my life.

In a gentle, yet planned way. With enough preparation done so that everything has room to be enjoyed, perhaps even some room for spontaneity.

So. I mull.

and mull. and mull and mull.

And I secretly hope that “mull” isn’t going to be my word for the year.