You know when you have a bad feeling.  And you ignore it. And that bad feeling just stays with you?

Yah, that.

And then, you finally, at the end of it all realize what the bad feeling might have been?

Yup.  That’s where I am currently sitting.  Warm and comfortable in the place where you realize that maybe you should have listened to your gut, or maybe not listening was still a part of the plan.

Maybe.

We arrived home today. When we left last monday neither the hubs or I really wanted to go. We both felt like we should stay. We had even put a plan in motion for me to stay, but then changed our mind.

We went to spend 4 days with our favorite friend. A friend who is like family, to both of us, which is rare.  He is our best of our best.

We came home today to find only 2 of our 4 bunnies. We had put a plan in place to ensure their safe keeping, and the bunnies thwarted that plan.

And by thwarting the plan, the escaped bunnies were taken by hawks.

It was a sad homecoming.

It is always sad losing a pet. We talked about heaven. We talked about how pets are already so good they don’t often need to stay with us very long. We talked about how it was better that we did rescue them and they didn’t get put down, or made into coats.

The 6 year old asked for more bunnies.  Cause that is what 6 year olds do. 

And while we believe they are in bunny heaven. And we understand they are only with us a short time, and we loved them so much while they were with us . . . none of that makes up for their loss today. None of that makes the explaining any easier.

So. We open the gin. We snuggle by the fire and we let ourselves be sad. We talk about it, we cry about it and we pray, (yes, don’t be alarmed, even I pray) that it was swift and that they are at peace.

And when I think back on that feeling . . . I understand better. I realize that life is full of choices, and each choice has a repercussion and as horrible as they may be, sometimes we need to pass through the experiences to come out the other side with better clarity on what we want.

And the funny thing in all this . . . i thought it would be the chickens.

ps.  please forgive me for using a lame rainbow image for this.  I didn’t want to use a bunny image, or anything else. . . lets just keep it simple here.