We had a crazy weekend. No, scratch that. It has been a CRAZY month!  School starting, guests staying at the house, renovations, work bubbling over. Just chaos.  So many people needing to go so many directions, and all at the same time.

For the past weeks I have felt like there just isn’t enough of me to go around.  I can’t tuck everyone in at the same time each night.  I can’t always balance dinners, with work, with remembering ALL THE THINGS.

Balls drop, stress rises. Dinners are hastily thrown together, lunches have the extra granola bar tossed in because there is nothing else to add.   Everything is done in fits and starts and bits and pieces.

And as a mother, I travel through this chaos.  The homework sheets flying around me, mixed with soggy sandwiches, tax reports due, and dog vet visits.  These moments of chaos all cyclone around me, noisy, messy and distracting.

Until I pass right through it.

Like I did this weekend.  The peak of our “busyness”. The epi-centre of our fall craziness.  At the very moment it all seemed like it was going to topple, it didn’t and I was able to stand in the eye of the storm and look around myself for a moment.

I saw a million moving pieces, everything in motion.  I saw kids laughing, work getting accomplished, dinners on the table. In that one moment of peace, I saw that I was surrounded by my world.  My kids, my work, my partner, all things that normally seem like they need more of me, and cause me to feel so pulled and stretched, were doing just fine.

For just that moment I sat back and watched. I took a breath.  THIS was my life, and despite the speed that it moves at, it is perfect.  Everything in it, we welcomed in.  We built this crazy beast, and we feed it and it thrives.

As my minute ended, I braced my shoulders, tightened my belt and I stepped back in.

Yes, this is where I belong.