This post is part of the YummyMummyClub.ca and Dove #YMCBeautifulYou program. I received compensation as a thank you for my participation. This post reflects my personal opinion about the information provided by the sponsors.
My daughters see me living two different lives. They see the regular farm mom trudging about in flip-flops and covered in chickens. They see me playing with them at the beach wearing a bikini, (still at age 40). They see me sweating it out working to improve our home and acreage with them by my side.
And then, every now and then, they get a glimpse of me being “fancy” and going to “work.”
Those times when I leave the island, I dust some make up on my face and pull out the “clean shoes.”
Those times I am clean and fresh, and not just because I was so dirty, it was a necessity before I walked in the house.
So when we talked about beauty, they initially went straight to when I am “fancy,” but of course, in most girls’ eyes, “beautiful” is dressed up. “Beautiful” is wearing sparkly necklaces, and having glossy lips. Beautiful is when my hair is brushed. . . not just clipped back and stuck under a sun/knit/baseball cap.
Or maybe to them, beauty in me was different? It was something that came out for “special occasions” and was a rare thing to glimpse.
We broke it down a little bit and talked about what beauty really meant. Was it really me wearing lip gloss once in a blue moon, or was there more to it than that?
And then my youngest daughter said “I think it is beautiful when you laugh” and then she added, “You laugh when you are playing with us.”
And that was the crux of it.
My kids didn’t notice my grey hairs (yes, they are in there) or my wrinkles. They have poked and prodded the stretch marks that show them that at one time they DID claim my body. They have seen me dive off a float, at a public beach in my string bikini without a care, and strip down to my bra and panties to rescue our pup who was lost at sea. They have seen me eat with gusto, and run with glee. They have witnessed a mother who IS accepting of her body, even as she rolls her muffin top in her fingers.
I don’t worry about my aging body, so they don’t either.
To them, my beauty was shown in moments that we spend together, in how hard I work, and how much I love them. And for me, to hear my daughter(s) say that gave me confidence that they will be just fine.
My (almost) 11 year old has already starting asking about pimples, and worrying that what she wears makes her “tummy look big” and as her proud and passionate mother, I looked her dead in the eye and said, “your body is perfectly yours.”
She is getting it, and I know that we will continue to have conversations about loving her body, but just as my husband and I chose to show our kids how to be courageous, and how to chase happiness, we will also SHOW them body acceptance and self love.
I gave my daughter Amy a question to answer for this video: what she thinks is beautiful about her mom, regardless of her age.
I love that she talked about ME, not my body. And I was reminded about what I always knew: she just wants me. She wants to play with me, talk to me, sit with me and laugh with me.
She doesn’t want me fancy, or flashy, skinny or fat. . . just me. As me.
And I think that is just perfect. Don’t you?
If you haven’t had these conversations with your daughter, you need to, and right now Dove & YummyMummyClub.Ca are hosting a series of free workshops in October across Canada, hosted by YMC Bloggers and #YMCCommunity Bloggers. Dove & YMC want to create a dialogue between mothers & daughters about self-esteem, and beauty pressures.
Right now, 72% of girls feel pressured to be beautiful* (Source: Dove Global study, 2010) and your daughter may be one of them. Start a conversation and ensure she feels valued enough to participate in anything she chooses. . . even if it means wearing a bikini!
And then, empower YOURSELF to participate and feel valued, just as you are.
When I told my daughter that statistic and asked her if she would ever not consider trying something because she didn’t have the confidence, or feel good about herself, she looked at me like I was crazy.
And then she said, “of course I would try mom, because I am fearless.”
Go. Be fearless. Be fearless for yourself, and for your daughter. You have absolutely nothing to lose by trying.
Did you know YMC is hosting 25 free Dove Mom and Daughter Self-Esteem Workshops across Canada? Join us to start the conversation with your daughter about the real meaning of beauty.
Then visit the ‘How To Find Your Own Unique Beauty’ page for inspirational stories and resources to help young girls learn about true beauty.
We need you to be a part of the Dove mission to improve the self-esteem of over 15 million girls by 2015.