I often look around me and am amazed at these awesome parents out there. They somehow seem to have a plan for this whole “raise your kids thing” and I am confused about where they got the training?
See, most days I just feel like I am whinging it. For over a decade I have been stumbling through parenting my kids, never really knowing if I am doing it right, or am going to create permanent damage in these little humans.
I am terrible at reading parenting books. I don’t like to be told what to do, and move by instinct most of the time. I shout, but I don’t spank. I say no, and yes, and sometimes I even change my mind halfway through. The only constant in my parenting is my inconsistency.
Sometimes we forget to feed our kids, usually when I am immersed in something awesome. There is always food though, and they can always help themselves.
I also forget school appointments, friends names and laundry.
Parenting is hard. Harder than work. Harder than play. Harder than most anything I have ever done.
But sometimes I think that maybe, just maybe my lax attitude towards parenting is actually creating some pretty awesome kids.
This weekend we brought the kids to the local farm fair. The begged to enter chickens, so there I was on a Friday night getting 9 chickens vet checked and settled in the poultry barn.
Now, don’t judge me on this, especially after everything I just said above, but we spent a lot of time in that barn on the weekend caring for these birds and ensuring they were safe and happy, while we let the kids run free with a 10$ bill in their pocket for food and fun.
My middle daughter, the 9 year old, was at the barn hours before the fair opened. She cleaned cages, fed and watered everyone’s birds and showed love and affection to her animals. Throughout the day she would choose barn duty, learning how to candle eggs, and helping with the newly hatched chicks over all the other fair activities. Sunday was the same thing. Early morning, mucking out messy cages, and nurturing even the ugliest of the meat chickens on display.
This was her thing. She told interested adults about her pets, asked questions of the vets, judges and experience chicken farmers, and opened herself up to learning and helping.
She worked hard, and collapsed into bed both nights exhausted.
At the end of the day, on the last day of the fair, she asked if she could have one of the newly hatched chicks. After spending 2 days with 3 dozen day old fuzz balls this wasn’t a surprise question. Her dad and I both told her the same thing. We said “we don’t want more chicks, but after seeing how hard you worked this weekend, we both feel that you have EARNED one” .
She spent countless hours working in that barn and she NEVER did it to earn anything. She never expected us to even consider having more chicks. Her actions came from her passion and interest in the animals.
Our only condition? She had to ask the poultry manager herself.
And our little girl did. She asked what she could do to purchase a chick from him, and he, after also watching her work so hard, ended up plopping 3 new babies in her waiting hands.
To see your child work hard on something they love is a wondrous thing. And then to be able to appreciate and recognize them for that work, that makes it have even more impact to them.
She reminded me that hard work does come with rewards. That when we do what we love, and put our all into it and sacrifice other things, we find our success.
Most of the time anyway! I think that is a pretty great thing for a little girl to learn, even if it has nothing to do with my parenting and everything to do with her personality!