I have lost my boots – my favorite black boots that I can spend the entire day in and still be smiling at the end of it?
My comfort & confidence boots. The ones with just enough heel that I feel feminine but not so much that I am an amazon.
They have been tucked away somewhere during our move, and I am sure I will find them, but probably not soon enough to take with me when I jump on the 3pm ferry.

As I was madly searching boxes, scouring all the shoe places my mind was rambling. It was like there was a squirrel in my brain with a can of black spraypaint and he was spraying graffiti on the walls of my mind.

And I thought, this is why I write.

I write because if I do, the stress is gone, the worry and the fear.

I also write because I think we all really think the same (or maybe I am fooling myself and I should be in a nuthouse… you know, with the graffiti painting squirrel!)

I think that the people out there who do write are courageous. We are admitting that we, at times, lack self-confidence, have fear and question our decisions. We admit they we are less than perfect and are eager to learn. We do this, so we can feel better and so you can know that no one strives fully into the day without double checking her zipper. We all take a quick peek in the review mirror before we get out the car. And we all, still, every day, wonder what is right and what is wrong and where we sit on the scale.

The only difference may be that those of us, who write about it, put it behind us when we enter the room. We still know that we may not be sure about the color of our skirt, or that funny thing that was happening with our bangs… or that we wish we were wearing our favorite boots. We know all this, yet by acknowledging our self-doubts every day in such a public way, we can own the less than perfect person that we are.

See, how can we hide it when you are reading our innermost thoughts.

You know we aren’t perfect. You know we have doubts. So part of our authenticity is remembering that you know and moving on.

So, if you see me in the next few days, know that I am not wearing the shoes I want to wear (unless a miracle occurs) and know that with all the changes in the last week, part of me is terrified of coming into my “old hood” and know that I am only human and trying to only do the best I can do.

Now, to go look for those boots one more time….

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